If Bugs Bunny Were a Federal Visionist...
I've never written a script before, but in light of the current FV controversy in Reformedom I thought I would give it a hand. Imagine a meeting between Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - and Bugs Bunny is a Federal Visionist and Yosemite Sam is... well, an anti-Federal Visionist:
Bugs: What's up, Doc?
Sam: You dirty varmint, you're teaching another gospel! You'll pay for that, rabbit!
Bugs: Another gospel! But I don't teach another gospel, Doc!
Sam: Yes, you do!
Bugs: No, I don't!
Sam: Yes, you do!
Bugs: Why do you say that I teach another gospel?
Sam: It says so in this here book, rabbit!
Bugs: But, Doc, what does the book say?
Sam: It says that you deny the doctrine of imputation!
Bugs: I don't deny the doctrine of imputation!
Sam: Yes, you do!
Bugs: No, I don't!
Sam: Yes, you do!
Bugs: Why do you think I deny the doctrine of imputation, Sammy, ole' boy?
Sam: Because you don't teach that thing there about merit!
Bugs: Now hold on a sec, Doc. Just because I don't agree with merit doesn't mean I deny imputation!
Sam: Yes it does!
Bugs: No it doesn't!
Sam: Yes it does!
Bugs: But, Sam, why does rejecting merit make you think I deny imputation?
Sam: Because it says so in that there book I read, rabbit!
Bugs: Sam! If I say, "obedience," instead of, "merit," would you be happy?
Sam: Is it meritorious obedience, rabbit?
Bugs: Can't I just say, "obedience," Sam? Merit says too much and too little at the same time!
Sam: No, you rascal! It says here in this book I read that you need to have merit to have imputation!
Bugs: Who wrote that book, Sam?
Sam: It doesn't matter, rabbit! He's from the south and that's all that matters!
Bugs: But, Sam! I believe we're saved by Christ alone! I just want to keep the focus on Him and His obedience as a Son, not something outside of Him! Imputation is great as long as we teach it properly!
Sam: Prepare to die, rabbit! You've taught another gospel for the last time!
Bugs: You won't get me today, Sam!
Sam: Oh, yes I will!
Bugs: Ohhhh, no you won't!
Sam: Ohhhh, yes I will!
Bugs: Ohhhh, yes you will!
Sam: Ohhhh, no I won't!
THE END
LOL...that Dr. Bonecutter is a sharp one.
Posted by: rulrich | September 29, 2006 at 11:04 PM
Sheer brilliance! You captured the "arguents" of "that book" to a T. You simply must send this to Doug Wilson post haste!
Posted by: Mark Traphagen | October 14, 2006 at 11:45 AM
Got here via MT's blog.
Likening the NPP/FV debate to a Bugs and Yosemite Sam cartoon: that perfectly charicatures the relevance of the debate :)
Can we get someone ordained in the PCA to submit this to GA as a resolution?
Posted by: Justin D | October 21, 2006 at 07:10 AM