It is high-time we thanked all of those faithful Reformed folks out there who take so much time and energy to defend their particular understanding of the "true" Reformed faith by anathemitizing others. We can never have enough of their efforts to root-out everything from everyday error to fatal heresy which is literally around EVERY corner and found in the finest details. What would we do without them? What would we do without the angry polemics that enrich our tradition? Things would never be the same without the constant flow of invectives that flow from their mouths and pens. How would the world look upon us if we lost our "unique" way of preserving the peace and purity of our community?
To encourage these self-proclaimed defenders of orthodoxy, we will be taking nominations for the first annual, Reformed "Deputy Dawg" award. This coveted award will be donned on that individual who has proven again and again that he (or possibly she) has labored tirelessly in the name of protecting everything that we hold dear in the nuttiest way possible. The winner will be chosen on criteria such as:
- How many people have they personally anathemitized outside of a church court?
- How many times have they used the phrases, "false Gospel," "fatal error," "confused," or "Romish?"
- Is there a healthy dose of sarcasm lacing their writings, lectures, and preaching?
- Can they trace the heresies back to the root within their own camp?
- Are they members of theological institutions that claim to be the last outposts of orthodoxy?
- (Subtract points for being whimsical, resolving disputes offline prior to personal-public anathemitizing, dialoguing in charitable earnest to heal rifts, and asking clarifying questions.)
Please take these nominations seriously. We must do whatever we can to preserve our proud tradition of mud-slinging, personal anathemitzing, schism, and sectarianism. After all, the Gospel is at stake.